Don’t Make a Breakup Worse for Yourself by Doing This

You haven’t really lived if you haven’t experienced a breakup with a romantic or potentially lifetime partner. That’s not to recommend that we should seek out opportunities to do so because we’re otherwise missing out on something exciting. It’s to say that it’s a standard part of any human search for love and intimacy. There’s […] Continue Don’t Make a Breakup Worse for Yourself by Doing This

Be Aware of What’s Going On in Apologies and Forgiveness

Psychologist and popular writer, Harriet Lerner’s new book, Why Won’t You Apologize? analyzes the interwoven dynamics of what it is to apologize to and forgive another. Hers is one of the most realistic deconstructions of the two sides of a single coin that’s crucial to healthy relationships. Since apologies are something we can all do […] Continue Be Aware of What’s Going On in Apologies and Forgiveness

Thriving In A Chaotic America. More Than Merely Surviving.

On a recent local morning TV show, while eating my breakfast, I heard one of the commentators say a new study declared that the economic boom of the ’60’s was a unique period in America’s history and cannot be repeated – period. In later thinking about this short, casual declaration I began to find myself […] Continue Thriving In A Chaotic America. More Than Merely Surviving.

Right Now, Practice Giving Yourself Permission to Not Win an Argument

In all relationships, the need to win an argument, the need to be right, affects how we get along. And the other person in the debate probably has that same psychological need to be right as we do. So, this mutual motivation to be right is likely to multiply in every conflict, major or minor. […] Continue Right Now, Practice Giving Yourself Permission to Not Win an Argument

Consensus vs Coercion – Bullying and Other Power Games

Consensus is a group solidarity in sentiment and belief, a general belief, or a collective opinion (according to the dictionary given by my coworkers in the public library I worked in as a teenager, way back in the early 1960’s – grin. I keep it next to my computer to remind me of those formative […] Continue Consensus vs Coercion – Bullying and Other Power Games

We Don’t Need a New Year to Take Back Our Lives

Another year has come to an end. But it’s just another artificial marker in the movement of time, meaningless in the natural scheme of things. We humans give it any meaning and power it has. For the rest of nature, December 31st is merely one day followed by another that might be no different than […] Continue We Don’t Need a New Year to Take Back Our Lives

Let’s Do Lunch – The Fine Art Of Conversation

With the holiday season upon us, I thought, perhaps it might be a useful time to assess and evaluate our social lives. I continue to hear MANY people express their frustration and unhappiness at the state of their friendships (or lack thereof). All too often this comes in the form of questioning “What’s wrong with […] Continue Let’s Do Lunch – The Fine Art Of Conversation

Lost Souls, Abandoned Childhoods and Broken Toys

A counseling client recently began working with me and described how he’s felt like a broken toy his entire life. He had effectively learned how to deal with a rather severe case of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), including graduating from college, yet feelings of being broken have persisted for decades! He’s made significant progress, […] Continue Lost Souls, Abandoned Childhoods and Broken Toys

What If We Don’t Agree Politically?

There are couples and friends who get along well when they disagree about politics. This political season, however, has even strained some of those relationships. Again and again we hear how arguments especially over the presidential candidates in both the primaries and the general campaigns have actually destroyed friendships and driven couples into silence when […] Continue What If We Don’t Agree Politically?