You should know that no matter how healthy you are now, 43 percent of people who need long-term care are working-age adults between the ages of 18 and 64, and 50 percent of those 65 and older will need care.  It’s a fact.  What’s more, the national average cost for health care in the home today is upwards of $55,000 per year.  The good news is that you can start planning now.

If you have experienced a situation in your family where a person becomes chronically ill and needs care for an extended period of time, then you know that that’s the time when people disappear.  We cannot and should not depend on family members to care for us when our health changes.  Just because Mom and Dad make special occasions special, that does not mean that their children owe them anything.  Responsible parents plan so that if chronic illness becomes a necessary lifestyle they will have planned ahead to protect those they love.  They will have the best possible health care, and their children and grandchildren will go on with their lives unaffected and unburdened.  Time spent together will be quality.

It is important that they as parents do not allow their own need for chronic health care to steal their children’s middle age or their grandchildren’s college education.

If they plan to have their children take care of them, then they should be sure the children know it.  No one likes surprises.  Many families’ professional careers and college educations are being jeopardized today because parents did not plan for incapacity.  This does not mean nursing home care.  So you can remove that term from your vocabulary.  Today, 90 percent of all extended care for chronic illness or disability is received in the home.

If you are surprised or shocked to learn this, it is only because as a family, the issue has not been addressed.  Talk to each other, plan with each other.  When health changes, instead of finding yourself in a crisis situation, you will be prepared as a family to put the plan in motion.  Holidays can continue to be shared as a family and parents can receive the best possible care in their own home, which is where we all choose to be.

Now that the hustle and bustle has begun, everyone is busier than usual.  It all began with Thanksgiving, and that very special dinner that everyone plans and prepares for weeks in advance.  The next day, everyone goes shopping for the special values.  This is the beginning of the holiday season.

Mom and Dad are planning to make the holidays this year every bit as special as and even better than last year.  Grandchildren are on the top of the list for the most popular toy, and the latest styles and fads in clothing.

Then the plans for New Year’s Day.  This day is for the guys, since they all retreat to the television room for football.  So much thought and preparation goes into planning for these special days of the year.  This is the classic family holiday season.  Every detail of the season is planned.  Nothing is left to chance but the outcome of the football games.

If we care so much for our family and loved ones to plan so carefully for the holidays, then why do we not spend a fraction of the time planning for when our health fails?  Do we assume that because the family is all together at special occasions that it will be together the same way when Mom’s and Dad’s health fails and they need care?  Wrong! Unfortunate as it is, this is when even the closest relationships unravel.

Parents do not realize and will not accept responsibility that they in fact are the cause of division among adult siblings.  Issues were not addressed that should have been.

The operative word here is “plan”.  Always have a plan and don’t be the only one who knows what it is.

This season, why not give your family the gift of open discussion about togetherness during difficult times as well as joyous occasions?  They will appreciate your honesty, sincerity and openness. 

Dorothy McMahon is a Long-Term Care Insurance Specialist, and president of McMahon and Associates, LTD., the agency that specializes in Long-Term Care Insurance.