Can’t get much better than this. Grandkids light up your life. They bring out the kid in you, think you’re cool, love you unconditionally, and don’t mind listening to your stories over and over again. They brighten your day when you’re feeling down. They even “cheer” when you drop in - they make great welcoming committees.

Today’s grandparents live longer and experience a longer duration of grandparenthood than ever before. Many grandparents live into their grandchildren’s adulthood. Grandparenting is another opportunity for us to connect, build relationships and make a difference in the lives of others.

Grandparents can be a wonderful influence in the lives of their grandchildren. They may serve as additional adult role models, act as resources for information, give practical advice based on true life experiences, and provide a sense of family history and continuity. They can also tell some pretty hilarious historical tales about their own parents.

A grandparent may be a great emotional support to a grandchild. With their lives now hopefully less hurried, they are able to offer quality listening time to the growing child, and provide ongoing encouragement and assistance with their schoolwork, their social issues and their insecurities. Grandparents make great cheerleaders. They can foster the grandchild’s positive qualities and help build their self-esteem by sharing time together and pointing out all of their good qualities. Even grandparents who do not live in close proximity to their grandchildren may keep up a close relationship through a continual communication exchange. It’s the constant interest and support shown that counts. Grandparents can establish positive relationships with their grandchildren in their early years, and keep the open communication going. This bond may continue into the teenage years when a third party ear and respected voice may be very helpful as the adolescents begin to assert their independence. These same teenagers can also keep their grandparents up to date with new trends and changing cultural ways.

Becoming a grandparent involves a great deal of personal growth. Grandparents can sometimes get themselves into trouble with the parents. There really is no manual for grandparenting. When your first grandchild is born, you just want to get your hands on that beautiful baby. You forget that this little one is not yours. This can be especially difficult for grandmothers - one really never stops being a mother. It can be quite a confusing time trying to figure out your new role. New mothers need support, but may be very sensitive to any suggestions that grandmothers make as they may perceive the suggestions as criticism. Parenting practices and styles, as well, change over the years and the people may view child rearing quite differently. Most grandparents want to help, but often may be confused as to how to do this without potential conflict. The Vanier Institute notes that “the grandparent role is characterized by complexity. In a sense it is more complex than being a parent because it involves more people (adult children and children-in-law, as well as another set of grandparents). It appears that there really is no clear description for the role of a grandparent and that most individuals negotiate roles within a wide range of possibilities.” (J. Rosenthal & J. Gladstone, 2000)

The best role for grandparents to play is one of support, both for their adult children who are now parents and also for the new grandchildren. It takes time to adjust to the new role and to work out how that support can best be provided to meet the needs of everyone. Let the parents know you are there and then wait to be asked. Some grandparents today may find themselves in a primary caretaking role for their grandchildren. Most grandparents, however, don’t seek out this role, but agree to provide this level of support out of some financial difficulties being experienced by the parents.

Grandchildren give us a sense of immortality as we think of our personal and family line being continued through them. This is a comforting thought as we begin to think about what legacy we will leave to the world.

In the meantime, grab as many hugs and cuddles as you can get and don’t miss this great opportunity to get silly, play like a kid again, go to the park, eat ice cream, swing on the swings and then send them home to their parents! Enjoy a soothing cup of tea, in your own peaceful and quiet space, smile and be thankful for the wonderful gift of your grandchildren.

For more information about Denny Strecker, visit www.DennyStrecker.com or www.karateisgreatforyou.com. Denny can be reached by phone at (586) 573-3881.