People have more self confidence and more life experience and might be in a place of connection and gratitude, both of which truly enhance relationships.  However, for many of us, this period presents new apprehensions, as well.  Here are some of them:

He Said: Dating in middle years is scary!  How do you meet new people?  I really don’t want to date anyone that I already know.  I want a new start!  I am definitely not into the bar scene and there is no one at work that interests me.  I don’t know who would want a chubby bald guy anyway.  I think I’d rather just have a beer and watch the ball game on TV by myself.

She Said: Being a single parent and a member of the sandwich generation is hard for me.  Even though my kids are young adults, they still have needs and I love being involved in their lives. Plus, my aging parents are also demanding and they are becoming less and less independent.  Being the only child who lives near them, all of the responsibility falls on me.  I don’t have the energy to go on dates!  And besides, gravity has taken its toll on my body and I am sure no one would be interested.  I’ll be spending my holiday with my family!

For many, midlife relationships present us with opportunities to come to terms with the good things that we have to offer to someone.  Our commitment, compassion, interest, and ability to take life with a grain of salt are the most important qualities for a true committed relationship.  We know through research that being able to remain positive about our partners throughout the difficult times in life is the single biggest determining factor of a relationship that is satisfying for the long term.  As people of our age, we have all of the character resources we need to make it work!  Have confidence in yourself and take a risk!

To learn more about Paul and Ellen Chute, visit their website at www.ellenandpaul.com.