You may be grieving because you have lost the spouse or partner you knew before he or she became ill.  Perhaps you feel alone and unappreciated.  And you feel guilty for having these feelings.  Yet you still want to continue to provide the best care possible.

All of these feelings are normal.  While caregiving is often difficult, there are things you can do to manage the stress:

• Ask for help.  Enlist family members and friends to take care of specific tasks.  Those who live far away may be able to help by paying for someone to help you with cleaning or errands.
  
• Take a break.  Taking time for yourself will help you do a better job with caregiving.  Consider using respite care offered through home health agencies, adult day care or long term care facilities (contact the Area Agency on Aging 1-B at 800-852-7795 or www.aaa1b.com for information about respite care in your community.  Out of state, contact the Eldercare Locator, 800-677-1116 or www.aoa.gov/caregivers.)
  
• Take care of your health.  Eat well, get the rest you need and exercise, if only for brief intervals.  Without these essentials, you will not be able to provide good care.
  
• Be realistic.  No one is the "perfect" caregiver.  You have a limited amount of time, money, skill and energy.  Focus on what's more important and let go of the less important issues.
  
• Learn about resources and seek support.  A support group may help you learn new caregiving strategies and provide an emotional outlet. Organizations such as the Alzheimer's Association and the American Parkinson's Disease Association offer valuable information and services to members.