But did you know that if you don’t handle your anger well, it can cause you to age more quickly, and if you are consistently angry, your mental and physical health can suffer.

There are studies that prove that married couples live longer than single people.  But there are also studies that indicate in arguments between spouses, women who suppress their feelings of anger also increase their likelihood of premature death from diseases like cancer or heart disease as compared with women who vent their anger.

The reason anger can cause physical or mental problems lies within the emotional “hard wiring” of minds that goes back to the days of the caveman, and the of “fight or flight” reactions to physiological changes that occurred under stress.   And yes, arguing is stressful.  So what happens during a heated argument that can lead to physical or mental problems?

When anger is triggered, adrenaline gets released into our systems, the heart rate increases, our breathing rate increases with shallow breaths rather than deep breathing, and our body stops other internal activities like digestion to gather all its forces for the “fight or flight” situation it expects to occur.  The problem is that putting the body through that intense response sequence too often, or without dissipating the build-up of adrenaline and calming the breathing and heart rate can contribute to high blood pressure, heart disease and other physical ailments.  People who are always “flying off the handle” place their bodies in frequent states of reactive behavior, and are far more likely to show the negative impact of their anger over time.

Type “A” personalities, particularly those who are “hot reactors” and are quick to become angry can suffer more physical damage than lower-key “B” type personalities.  Anger can slow your decision-making and problem solving capabilities and impacts your ability to be creative and to make good decisions.  Anger also drains your energy – think about the last major argument you had and how you may have felt mentally and physically drained.

The challenge is to find healthy way to express your anger, and by doing that, maintain your health and possibly slow your body’s aging process.  Have you ever been very upset, perhaps at work or because someone cut you off while driving home on the local roads? Did you let go of your anger, or when you got home, did you “kick the dog” or yell at your spouse or the kids for no particularly good reason?  If you took your anger out on your family, you need to learn to channel your anger and learn to control it.

This can be done by doing simple things like sharing your angry feelings with a friend or family member, rather than taking those feelings of anger out on innocent bystanders to your problem.  Over time, blaming the kids, or constantly taking your anger and frustration out on your family is likely to lead to even more family problems in addition to impacting your own health.

Experts don’t suggest that you hide or suppress your anger, because doing that can also do you mental and physical harm, and if you harbor negative feelings, they can contribute to negatively impact self-worth – how you feel about yourself.  The issue isn’t becoming angry, that’s a normal, natural emotion.  The problem is in staying angry and not letting go.  Here are some things you can do, and some of the ways to deal with your anger:

Take time to think about why you’re so angry, chill out and get yourself back under control.  The faster you bring your mind back into a balanced state, the more quickly your body will react by reducing your heart rate and slowing your breathing – and those are good things for your health.

Do something physical like take a walk or do some chores, almost anything that will help you burn off the adrenaline that is coursing through your body.  That will reduce any longer term damage and allow you to more calming think about why to became so angry.  If you can’t do something physical, find a quiet place and do some deep breathing and relaxation techniques to bring your body back to its quiet, normal rhythm.

A few more ideas:  spend your time with positive people; avoid situations you know are going to set you off; work on not reacting to your known triggers; spare your spouse and kids from being the brunt of your misplaced anger; and learn to talk about your anger and feelings.

Remember, keeping your anger bottled up is harmful to your health, while yelling and other outrageous behaviors are harmful to your relationships.  Anger on occasion is normal.  How you deal with it can impact your health.

Ron Kauffman is a Certified Senior Advisor, radio talk show host and an expert on issues of aging and caregiving. He is the author of Caring for a Loved One with Alzheimer’s Disease, available at www.seniorlifestyles.net, where you can also hear his weekly Podcasts. He can be reached at 561-626-4481 or by email at drron407@bellsouth.net.