For many couples, political differences have minimal impact, but for others, these disagreements infer basic values differences that are insurmountable. For some people, their political ideals represent their life encompassing beliefs, and to disagree with them is an invalidation of their personhood!  “I will fight to my death for the right to life!” For others, their political beliefs represent historical connections that have great meanings: “Our family has a proud union history and even though I am not in a union, I will always be a Democrat!”  The key thing about politics and relationships is not to take things personally. Easier said than done, in many cases.

He said: How can you vote for that guy?

She said: How can you NOT vote for that guy?

What we have going on here is complex!  We choose our candidates for many reasons, usually because he or she has specific qualities that appeal to us—a particular party affiliation, a feeling of trustworthiness, a connection of some kind.  Each person’s attraction toward a particular candidate is based on their own person history.  People vote because something about a candidate touches them, and often we are unaware of exactly what that is!!  This is why political discussions are so sticky—because so much of how we vote comes from an unconscious place within us and we are not able to explain it!!  However, when someone challenges it, it raises our angst!! 

So, just know that if politics is a hot button for you, find out early in your relationships how the other person feels!!  Otherwise, just make it a couple activity to vote!

To learn more about Paul and Ellen Chute, visit their website at www.ellenandpaul.com.