I prepared 98 slides in a Power Point presentation format to assist in the material (helping keep it fun and upbeat, with several cartoons to illustrate important points), since the topic of ‘men’ can be somewhat of a ‘downer’ in today’s social climate (again, humor here please!).  I also enjoy sharing this material with various groups. Please, let me know.

I began talking about the ‘presenting problem’ being the pre-existing ‘conditions of maleness’ in America today.  This includes the many and varied ‘roles’ men adopt or are required/seduced/defaulted into performing (very much like our codes of professional conduct. requirements of business clothing, or an actor’s part in a play).  Some are indeed important, but many hamper creativity, individuality and satisfaction. 

I stressed that a man’s ‘country of origin’ for his ‘family of origin’ can be significant here, as well!  This can be especially true for 1st and 2nd generation immigrants to America.  It is the origin of our male roles which most often shapes us into presenting ourselves as we believe others expect us to behave.  Guilt and shame can be prime motivators here, sadly.  We’ve gone from a ‘melting pot’, to a ‘garden variety salad’ mixture of varied individuals, to currently beginning to appreciate an individual’s ‘diversity’. 

Unfortunately, I don’t see many training manuals or social etiquette books on how each of these was to be brought into mainstream and formerly ‘homogeneous’ America, and then how to be practiced by individuals towards others?  The origins of our expectations (possibly/hopefully including a nurturing environment) can be very powerful IF well thought out and implemented! 

An excellent example of this is Clint Eastwood’s recent movie, “Gran Torino”, showing both the humorous and very sad sides of men and their issues in America.  I referred to his movie several times during my presentation.

One thing I have noticed is how until an individual becomes aware of something (like men as a social issue), they simply don’t know or believe it even possibly exists, and more importantly how they might go about addressing/changing/adopting/negotiating with it.  This includes appreciating women and men as individuals as well as the diversity they bring to a relationship (but that is another topic for another time…). 

This might be where the ‘battle of the sexes’ and corporate America’s ‘glass ceilings’ come to be played out – power struggles? Perhaps, by re-framing our concepts of gender, we could also learn to more cooperatively share authority and power some day, too!?